Monday, December 29, 2008

Best. Christmas. Present. Ever.


Educational toy that cost $25:
So what?


Another educational toy that cost $15:
Who cares?


Yet another educational toy that cost $14:
Are you kidding me?


"Star Wars" toy that cost $20:
Great. Thanks. But I wanted BOBA Fettt. Not JANGO Fett.


Batman: The Dark Knight Rapid Fire Utility Belt that was begged for repeatedly for 3 solid weeks until mommy finally cracked and bought it for $22 lousy bucks
against her better judgment because mommy KNOWS it's really a dangerous piece of plastic crap but for the love of God, she has to give in to the holiday spirit at least once a year, right? I mean, Gawd. She's not made of stone, people:
Thaaannnkkk yoooouuuu....but I don't like Batman anymore.


New outfit from The Gap:
Clothes? For CHRISTMAS?
Am I being PUNISHED?

Shiny, new Razor scooter that daddy proudly brought home after triumphing in a near-fistfight with a roving pack of bargain-hunting rednecks on Black Friday:
Oh. A scooter? Yawn.

But--

Four dollar novelty-store mustache kit that turns you into a 5 year-old Riverboat Gambler named Diamond Jim:

Awwww, yeah.












39 comments:

Cheryl Prater said...

Hey, nothing says "Christmas" like weapons and fake facial hair. It was an AirSoft Christmas at the Praters. Bah freaking hum bug.

*Akilah Sakai* said...

I got a keyboard playing daughter in one room and an electric-guitar-strumming boy in the next...what was I thinking?

Oh the humanity!

Mama Monkey said...

Oh my gosh ... you are hilarious! The joy of buying gifts for kids is overrated, isn't it?

Charmaine said...

ha ha ha. I would KILL for that moustache kit.

Literally....hee hee

How do you spell mustache anyway?

Sharon said...

What about lego kits with 10,000 pieces? Hello people! The whole point of Christmas is to BUY THE KIDS TOYS SO I DON'T HAVE TO PLAY WITH THEM!

Sheesh

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

My uncle proudly displayed his Nacho Libre-like mexican wrestler mask as the best gift he has ever received in his 40 years of life.

Apparently it doesn't take much to please men... no matter the age.

Erica said...

I don't have children although for Christmas I wanted to make sure my husband had the BEST REDNECK CHRISTMAS EVER. I got him a home brew kit, a nascar driving experience and yes a banjo. After a few days of really shitty attempts of playing the banjo, I cannot wait for him to make some beer,get drunk and take his Nascar driving experience from him ,jump in that damn car and crash into a wall at 180 mph so I don' have to listen to that stupid banjo EVER again. What was I thinking?????

Kate said...

I got pretty much the same facial hair kit for my 26-year-old fiance and had the same reaction: "SWEET!" Followed by: "So, can I grow a REAL mustache?" (My reply: "Absolutely not.")

So just think: you can keep buying that same $4 kit for the next 20 years, and it will always bring joy to that inner five-year-old.

(Incidentally, what reaction did I get for the shiny new $200 Brooks Brothers watch? "Oh, thanks." Siiiigh.)

pat said...

of course...and the box was probably a hit as well! The empty box is always a treasure....

WA said...

Yep--they just ignored their pile of new toys & played with a giant cardboard box and packing material for 3 solid hours. Oy.

-Wendi

Anna Lefler said...

I. Want. That.

(Thanks for stopping by my blog - yours rocks.)

:^) Anna

K said...

My son always loves the cheap stuff too. Sometimes he actually prefers the packaging.

I could save tons of money if I could only crack the code on which cheap stuff he actually wants.

Momma B said...

That iiiiiisssss FAB U LOUS! I hate to say it, but it makes me think of "Joe Dirt!" Poor kid! Mine would love that too! Isn't it amazing that they love the things that noone would ever consider and we pay sooooo much for things they have long since forgotten about after having just asked for them!?!?

Gotta love Christmas!

Cindy said...

kids...they say the best stuff. probably the only time we get pure honesty

Kate Coveny Hood said...

At least he didn't just play with the boxes!

I think I want one of those mustache kits...

My kids will play with anything I give them as long as it lends itself to being a projectile.

Michele said...

Could have been one of the boxes.

Heinous said...

Next year, the riverboat! It will only be a hit if it's made out of an old refrigerator box though.

Thank you for coming by my blog :)

Vodka Mom said...

okay. That was DAMN funny.

Jonny's Mommy said...

Kids. Isn't that how it always is? Give my kid a box and he is happy much of the time.

He looks great though so good thing you got it!

kia (good enough mama) said...

So typical. Kinda like playing with the boxes instead of what came in them, huh?

phd in yogurtry said...

It's a crap shoot with kids past a certain age (2). Next holiday, moving on.

Kirsten / Mama Ginger Tree said...

True Christmas joy.

heartatpreschool said...

That is perfect.

My kids' favorite gift...the candy canes hanging on the Christmas tree. Which they devoured first thing Christmas morning, and then revisited when the consumed candy canes came back up again on the drive down to my sister's house later that day. Fun!

blognut said...

I LOVE that look. That $4 gift will carry him all the way through adulthood!

Thanks for stopping by my blog -

Jeanne said...

Thanks for visiting!

Unfortunately, even though he liked the $5 gift the best, if that's all you bought him he'd be upset. The rest of the stuff is the warmup act.

Heather said...

That was funny, my son had hours of fun with the Trader Joe's paper bag - sod all the other gifts!!!

Thanks for your comment!

frannie said...

effing drum set in my house. what were we thinking? i think i might put it in the snow.

thanks for the greatest letter ever.

frannie

Trenches of Mommyhood said...

I know whatcha mean. Fave presents were the cheapy $7 Spiderman costumes.

Lela said...

We have resorted to a list complete with part numbers. Because don't get me started on the vast population of the Bionicle world. That's what ten years old looks like from here.

Jenny Vee said...

my kid's favorite gifts? lip gloss and some cheap target hair scrunchies, which she can't even wear because her sister practically scalped her on christmas eve eve while i was hip deep in meatloaf mix.

and my husband really sparked to the chocolate-covered bacon i gave him AS A JOKE.

mele kalikimaka, ladies.

bernthis said...

What did you get? A puffy?

Cassie said...

Happy New Year, Wendi!

the mama bird diaries said...

It's always those cheapo gifts that they love! Awesome picture.

MadMad said...

HA! Excellent! (And what a cutie!)

Ann's Rants said...

I wish to god I could get a feed from your blog. Anyway. YUP! Our razor is still sittin' in the box..yawn.

ella said...

Hey I just found your blog tonight and I feel like I finally found the cool kids!
I would love to link to you, but when I edit in blogger, teh link goes to Feedburner. When I link in the text of my post, it goes here.
Any suggestions?

Cat said...

I could have told you that fake 'staches on a kid is fun for the whole family. Really, when will you begin consulting me first?

Queen Goob said...

Actualy....my first question was who spent money on that Bulldawg jersey????

GEESH!!!

CSY said...

Actually Queenie, that shirt is AWESOME!! Dawg fan here, BTW! I was coming to comment that your son is ADORABLE...ESPECIALLY in his Dawg jersey! Love your blogs, Wendi!