Monday, June 16, 2008
Reality TV Shows I Would Win
America's Next Top Hand Model
Top Microwave Chef
America's Got Talent, If By "Talent" You Mean A Kick-Ass Dora The Explorer Impersonation
The Amazing Race To The Wine Bottle
Project Runway, Far Away From The Babysitter Who Just Told You She Likes To "Party Like Winehouse"
The Biggest Loser: Car Keys and Visa Bills
So You Think You Can Dance? Like A Psychotic Toddler?
Survivor: Target Greatland
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16 comments:
Hey, I'll run the Amazing Race with you.
:o)
OMG! I was JUST looking at my hands today and thinking "Well, there went THAT as a last ditch career option..."
But I'd totally kick butt at Survivor Target Greatland.
You make me laugh.
Your Amazing Race to the wine bottle challenge would be heavily contested by yours truly.
I would win the show "Annoy a Business/Hotel/Insurance Company Until They Cave to Your Demands".
I would kick ass at that.
Big Brother: Because little eyes are always watching.
The Hopefully-Not-Melanoma Mole
I could be on biggest looser and the Dora one. I can't remember right now.
I seem to have found myself in auditions for 'Survivor: DMV' more than I care to admit. Not to mention, 'The Apprentice: You Can't Help but Turn out Exactly Like Your Mom.'
How about "American Eyesore" - the horrible cyclops stress pimple I get before anything important.
How about these?
The Amazing Braces
The Bachelor - Again, After 9 Years of marriage
Hell's Kitchen - You Gotta See It To Believe It
Beauty and the Sheets That Should Have Been Washed Last Week But She Never Got Around To Doing Them Because It Was Rainy And She Likes To Line-Dry Her Bedding or The Bachelorette – The Golden Years or The Biggest Loser ‘Cause She Can’t Find A Low-Maintenance Man If Her Life Depended On It. WAIT! Isn’t there one about a farmer trying to find a wife? LOL
FYI – My mailman is in the running for the next Amazing Race Season. Look for a funny guy named Tim Kelly who will be traveling with his son……and wish him luck!
You'd have to make sure you have the Dora stare down pat first. I might could do Steve or Joe from Blues Clues.
"Don't Forget The Lyrics - Sponsored by Nickelodeon and Disney"
Well, as a "seasoned" mom (sounds so much better than "old"), I'd win at that goofy-ass show about catching people in lies--didn't they have one where they hooked people up to a lie-detector test. Yeah, that one, I'd so win. You wait until you have a houseful of teenagers saying, "No, it's not my mess" and "That teacher never assigned homework so how could I have done it even if I'd wanted to?" and "I swear, the police framed me with that beer/pot they found in my car."
I'd also be in the running for Survivor: Shopping Mall. I can be in and out of Hollister or Abercrombie in ten seconds flat without purchasing a pair of jeans full of rips that cost more than my first car and I'm not in the list slowed down by teens rolling their eyes into the back of their heads. I do sometimes mention their eyes might get stuck there, though, and that can slow me down.
I've got an Elmo impersonation that could be runner up.
And Top Microwave Chef? I'm going to give you a run for the money on this one.
You are a riot. Love this.
My teenager apparently prefers "Truth or Dare You To Catch Me", and I can tell you I would win because she NEVER picks truth. I think I'm going to move out. (and leave her with her father who, I am sure, is responsible for her gene-pool)
Candy McD
I could seriously win American Midol this week.
LOVE your list!
I might be a finalist in these ...
Amazing Race - 2 kids, 1 husband, 5 sports and a band
Design-Impaired Star - buying all the paint before know if it will look good and using it anyway
Biggest Loser - of my identity and being just "mom"
And I would surely win at Husband Swap - please send one who remembers to put the milk in the fridge and the candles in the linen closet, not the other way around.
Love the blog!
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