For The Stressed-Out Mom:
Juicy watermelon or vanilla cupcake-scented candles!
For The Popular Mom:
The Key West Margaritaville Drink Maker!
For The Unpopular Mom:
The Single-Serve Coffeemaker!
For The Really Unpopular Mom:
The One-Touch Can Opener!
For The Why Even Bother? Mom:
The Cuddle-Up Robe!
For The Wants To Lose Her Baby Weight Because Her Baby Is Now 19 Years-Old And Has A Goatee Mom:
The Leg Magic Exercise Toner!
For The Damn, Woman, You Sho Got Some Nasty Feet Mom:
The Ped Egg Foot File!
For The Let's See...Which Do I Have More Of--Wrinkles Or Pimples? Mom:
A Wide Selection Of Vanity Mirrors!
For The When I Said I Wanted A Massage, I Meant From Someone Named Sven, Not From This Piece Of Crap Mom:
The Massage Cushion With Heat!
And For The Honestly, Is This What You Think Of Me Cause If It Is, I'm Gonna Leave This House So Damn Fast It'll Make Your Head Spin, Therefore I Suggest You Get Your Lame Ass In Gear And Head To The First Store That Doesn't Have An "'n" In Its Name To Immediately Buy Mama Somethin' Shiny Mom:
The Steam Mop!
26 comments:
I've been wondering what to get my mom this year ... thanks for the help!
BTW, I have a wicked apple martini hangover this morning. I'm gonna go through the comments on your hangover post and get me some life-saving advice. Thanks for the public service.
Wow! Now I know where all the drinking moms hang out!!
I think, once a week, I'll take a vicodin and drink two lemon drops and post what comes to mind. What could I call that?
PS: I love this blog.
Oh yeah on the massage from Sven item! I don't want no stinkin' foot bath.
Oh, God! We just got my mom a floor polisher. She ASKED for it!!!!
I must be the "popular" mom because the Key West Margaritaville Drink Maker has got my name written all over it. Just ignore the fact that I am pregnant right now. I promise to wait until after baby is born to down pitcher after pitcher of margaritas. Promise.
Hm. I'm still thinking any of those beats the sitting at your mother IN LAW's kitchen "celebration" I usually get... but not by much, probably. Especially not the foot massager.
You know what I want for Mother's Day.
My husband to put down the damn video game controller. And then I want him to make my 8 year old to put down the damn video controller, so I'm not always the Video Game Nazi.
And then I want them to go outside, and I want my husband to teach my son how to ride a bike.
Because it's embarrassing to ME that my 8 year old does not know how to ride his perfectly nice bike in the garage.
That is seriously what I asked for.
oh dear God that was funny
I was looking to buy her a Chia something...
What do they have for Leave Me The HELL Alone Mom? Cause I want that.
I want that steam mop.
Note to self: hide this ad from husband and children.
Too bad they don't sell that saddle "exercise chair". I bet that would be a popular gift item.
I will never look at another Sunday sales flyer in the same way again! Just brilliant.
Post more blogs! I hate this once a week crap.
You should really update more than once a week. I love reading your blogs, but hate waiting for the next one!! You're hilarious!
Can I be the popular mom??
I keep asking my kids for a limber open-minded Cabana Boy named Antonio, but they keep giving my those damn Maxine cards from Hallmark and boxes of mediocre chocolates.
Dammit!
I'll take the steam mop over having to trudge out on that Sunday to any Cracker Barrel!
Too bad they don't sell "15 minutes of uninterrupted privacy in the bathroom" That's what I want for Mother's Day.
What is it going to take for you to blog more often?
I NEED it WENDI...
need...need......okay, want...but like I want a Diet Coke in the morning (that is if I don't have it, things can be very, very bad around here).
Lisa
Clearly all the gas got to this inventor's head, but anyway... The perfect Mother's Day gift.
http://bettermarriageblanket.com/index.html
:D
You are a funny mummy. Have a great mother's day!
That ped egg thing really sends me into panic mode. It's not enough to change the channel, I bolt from the room like a 12" cock roach just appeared in the den. Perhaps it's just the ticklish factor, maybe combined with the images of dead skin shavings liesurely lurking in all my neighbors' garbage cans. I really can't handle it.
elizabutt
OMG! I have only just discovered your blog! I loved your maxipads rant, and someone posted your blog link on a forum to which I belong.
You are so funny . . Nothing like a bit of dry humour on a Tuesday morning!!
haha, keep em coming!!
Deanne
xx
Sydney Australia
ps. hope you don't mind, I have linked your blog in mine. :)
....you got the mop, didn't you?
......you got the mop, didn't you?
Post a Comment