Wednesday, November 07, 2007

The Book Club


How was your book club tonight?

Not so good.

What happened? Did the wine run out?

No.

The cheesecake?

No.

Did you confuse William Shakespeare with William Shatner again?

No, and will you please stop bringing that up? I'm upset because I finally realized how shallow all of those women are.

Really? The Bookanistas?

Here we are, a group of educated, smart women and all anyone wanted to talk to me about was...my shoes. My shoes! How shallow is that? Not to mention, completely cliche. I mean, come on, are we a book club or just a bad Sarah Jessica Parker movie waiting to happen? And the worst part was, nobody even asked me what I thought about the book we read.

What book was it?

Like I know. Something about a guy who runs with kites. But the point is, I didn't join a book club to talk about SHOES. I joined so that once a month, I can have an intelligent discussion about something important in the world, like the conflict in the...the...you know.

Middle East.

Or the situation in the...place...with the...sand...

The Persian Gulf.

Or even the documentary I watched last night.

I don't think "What Not To Wear" is a documentary.

But the thing is, I'm an intelligent, interesting person! I'm cultured, I'm well read, I'm opinionated, so obviously, I have a lot more to talk about than shoes. Besides, do I look like I even care about fashion?

Um...is there a right answer?

So my question is, how come all anyone had to say to me tonight was, "Did you get new shoes?"

Maybe because you have a three-inch long price tag from Marshall's hanging off of your right heel.

Ohhhh. Huh. Yeah, I just got them yesterday. Aren't they cute?

10 comments:

Arthur Dent said...

OMG!!!!!

Wendi, you really should be selling this stuff. It is marketable. Just don't make your loyalest of fans and admirers pay for it.

MadMad said...

Yeah... my 11-year-old daughter's book club has more of a discussion about the reading than mine does. Oh well. At least it makes us read something that isn't a blog, right? ;)

~ Denise said...

That totally made my day!! FANTASTIC!

pat said...

really hilarious...but umm, I would like to see the shoes ....

Donna Lee said...

So, what color are these shoes?

VDog said...

Hahahaha. You're a total Cracker. And I mean that in the best possible way.

Moi said...

i couldn't get past the fact that you have new shoes. was there something else in the post?

Pyro-kun45 said...

geez, if there was a three inch price tag, then i wanna see the shoes! if they have to ask if they're new, then holy man!

strobel108 said...

This was the first good laugh I had all day

Kendra said...

I just read your letter to proctor and gamble and just about died laughing. I sent it to my grandmother, my mom, my boyfriends mother, and my boyfriend.
thanks for giving me a great laugh! You should write a book.