Monday, September 10, 2007
No Democracy In the Pre-K
OK, time to leave for preschool!
I'm not going.
Yes, you are.
No, I'm not!
Come on, sweetie. You know you like preschool. It's so fun! And you're such a big boy.
Preschool smells.
You'll get to see your friends! And play on the big playground!
No! Don't make me go!
You'll have circle time! You like circle time! Who doesn't like circle time? Idiots, that's who doesn't like circle time. And you're not an idiot, right? At least, you won't be if you go to school and learn your shapes.
DON'T WANNA DON'T WANNA DON'T WANNA DON'T WANNA!
Jack, I understand if you're a little upset about going to school today. But just remember, mommy loves you very much and wants you to GET YOUR SHOES ON RIGHT NOW OR I'M GONNA TAKE YOU ALL THE WAY DOWNTOWN, HOMESLICE!
No!
So. That's how you want to play it. Fine. I'm down with a little home schooling. Game on, man. Game on. Alright, Jack, I've changed my mind. You can stay home with me today. But you have to do what I do.
Like what?
Well, first, we'll clean up all the toys, fold the laundry and steam clean the morning cat puke off the carpet. Then we'll go to your brother's room and play "What's That Smell?" until we have an answer. After a yummy lunch of Slim Fast and Brie, we'll visit Mrs. Jackson and ask her to tell us a detailed story about Mr. Jackson's gender identity issues. Then we'll probably do a little bra shopping and, if we still have time, go to the doctor and ask her to give us some shots just for fun, so...where are you going?
To get my shoes for preschool.
Well, then. Class dismissed.
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8 comments:
Oooooh, I soooo glad you're back! I missed you! And that is definitely the kind of homeschooling I'd be on board with! I mean, with which I'd be on board, of course.
You are the master. I will be using this series of activities tomorrow when my four year old does not want to have any part of circle time.
What, he gave up a day like that for circle time at pre-school? the child has smarts!
You're true to your word. It's been a week, but I don't see any missing mojo. Are you sure this wasn't just a prolonged bathroom break?
Awesomeness again! I love the quick thinking wit... even though I have NO IDEA what "circle time" is!
BRAVO!
Ha. that's funny. When I was a kid, and stayed home from school, because, cough, I was "sick", she would make me iron the sheets...but I also got to watch Bewitched and The Waltons.
That is too a gem. Please feel free to bring him and your fancy steam cleaner over to my house for a veritable feast of projectile feline vomiteria.
Awesome. Funny and sharp. I found you via an email about the Always with happy notes and can't stop reading, though my preschooler, who whined her way into staying at home today, is now whining for dinner.
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