Due to some rather unfortunate incidents that transpired during last spring's school-wide Easter Egg Hunt, it has become necessary to take certain precautions this year. Therefore, listed below please find items that should not, under any circumstances, be used to fill the plastic eggs used for the hunt.
For most of you, the list is simple common sense. However, as we learned far too late last year, there are a few troublemakers among you who apparently find it amusing to go to a bar the night before, get “totally bombed", then "load up the mothereffin' eggs" so chaos can then ensue at the taxpayers’ expense. We dearly hope these inconsiderate renegades will not take this nasty route again and instead, be filled with the Spirit of the Bunny. Let’s make this a special day for children and parents alike.
NOT TO BE USED AS EGG FILLERS:
Cocktail Napkins Covered in Men’s Phone Numbers
Lee Press-On Nails
Jell-O Shots of Any Flavor
Tattoo Parlor Gift Certificates
Thank you for your cooperation in this matter. Also, please be advised that this year we will be conducting mandatory fingerprinting for all parents an hour before the event. Happy Easter and happy hunting!